


The Hypothetical Biography

by lmbinc



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Interviews, Memories, Other, Sexual Situations, thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:54:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmbinc/pseuds/lmbinc
Summary: I'll never know who Tom Hiddleston really is, so I've put together a hypothetical life for him, and filled in the blanks with my own thoughts.  Some very obvious facts I've changed, just to remind you this is fictional.





	1. So it begins

We are Multitutes 

A Fictional Biography of Tom Hiddleston 

He was a very handsome man. Hadn't been particularly handsome as a boy, or young man. He was a golden retriever of a boy. More or less happy, bouncing around with energy. Always running somewhere, even in sleep, he bounced around his bed, sleep-walked, talked in full sentences. An interesting person. He was still all those things, but now over it all stood the fact that he had turned out to be extraordinarily handsome. Most of it was natural, how anyone would age from a boy to a teen, from a teen to a young adult, then on to a man. Again, part of his demeanor was hard work. He'd been a string bean as a teen. He hated being called that, and so he'd done something about it. He ran, his passion was running. His thighs looked the part. He did yoga, then he discovered weight training. His shoulders broadened, his arms developed enviable muscle, his chest and abs made women drool, some men as well.  


He enjoyed being a handsome man, but still felt like the mop-top his sister had always teased. He adored his elder sister, his only sibling, Emigen. He called her Emi, she called him mop-top. Even today, mop-top... He shook his well coiffed head, no longer the bearer of bouncey, bountiful, blonde curls, he was still mop-top. So when people, the general public as it were, commented on his handsomeness, his sexual appeal; well... mop-top took over, with wide, innocent blue eyes, he'd shake his head to the negative, smile ruefully and say softly, "Me?"  


He had secretly dreamed, in his youth, to be an actor, but didn't want to disappoint. His Mum, Verity, was a theatrical director, but felt being an actor was far beneath her son with his resounding intellect and limitless compassion. Actors were so endlessly needy. She saw him guiding a organization of humanity, empathy, like UNICEF.  


Verity had been an only child from an old-money family. She was indulged in her every whim. She learned to play piano, sing, dance, paint, write poetry, read classic literature of whom Shakespeare was a favorite. When she took work, which her parents reminded her she did not need to do, she jumped right to the arts. She worked in a fine arts studio as an assistant sellar, at which she excelled, what with her contacts. She found that boring, shooting fish in a sardine tin, was harder. She moved on to being an assistant to a theatre director. This work suited her artistic background far better. From there if seemed a simple, logical step to direct. She understood the stage and its requirements.  


His father, Hamish, was the country's top chemist, who now ran a top facility for Queen and country. Hamish was quite proud of his son & his scholarly pursuits. He didn't expect him to follow in chemistry, Tom had no propensity for the sciences nor math, and he didn't hold it against the boy. You couldn't control where your gifts may lead you, but he did hope he'd become a professor, even dean, of languages. Tom seemed to learn new languages as easily as most learned their abc's, and currently knew 17 languages, English, French, Russian, Gaelic, Mandarin, just to name a few. Hamish was inordinately proud of his son's abilities.  


Hamish had been a prodigy in science as a child. He understood concepts that many of his teachers struggled with. He jumped grades in school, finished college and all his advanced degrees by 17, all on full scholarship. Science labs nation-wide all jumped at him, and he had his choice of career paths. He was happiest as a chemist, then ran the lab, then the company. He knew the gift he possessed was rare and didn't look for it in his children.  


Verity met Hamish one evening, when a friend & colleague dragged him out for a "night on the town", just to get him out of the lab. They saw a new production of Much Ado About Nothing, directed by London's newest rage, Verity Servaes. After the play, they'd gone backstage to congratulate her on a brilliant success. Hamish's eyes met Verity's, and fate was struck. They married six months later, a year later Emigen was born.  


The little family was happy, they moved from a small simple apartment, to a small simple house giving Emi a garden to play in, and a place for Diana's baby grand piano. Her parent's wanted them to move to their neighborhood in Belsize Park, but for now their small place in Camden suited all theirs needs regarding proximity to work, and a safe place for Emi. As Emi got closer to school age, and both parents advancing in their careers, they reconsidered and relocated to Belsize, and on their own (which was highly important to them), enrolled their darling daughter in a very good public school, and discovered that Verify was again pregnant. It couldn't have been better planned, although planned it was not.  


By the time she reached five, Emi found she had a baby brother, her very own living, breathing doll. And she took care of him, combing his beautiful shining blonde curls, giving him kisses and hugs, bottle feeding him when Mum allowed. She even learnt to change his nappies, giggling that boys seemed awfully different from girls, and much smellier. Verify glowed with pride that their two bairns loved each other so well.  


Now Tom found himself in the public eye, heard that he was considered by some to be a handsome stud, and wondered how that smiling string bean had gotten here, being talked about as Britain's next Branaugh, with whom he worked and considered as a mentor. He had become one of the UK's top rated actors. His father was shaken, but proud, and after much discussion as to his 'neediness', his mother accepted his career choice.  


Today Thomas William Hiddleston, perched on a rolling desk chair, in front of a microphone, and faced down a quite lovely interviewer who seemed intent on discovering something sinful in his past. "So you boarded at school as a boy and as a teen. That must have been fun, full of misadventures and naughty situations! Tell us the absolute worst thing you ever did!". She glowed at the prospect of digging up the dirt on the young success. She chuckled wickedly and dispite the lack of cameras, winked. "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours! So to speak." He looked at her for a very long second wondering just how much of a dunderhead she thought he was. He composed himself, this was after all his first major interview.  


"Don't conflate me with Loki!". He grinned to take some of the sting out of his words. " I was an ordinary boy, and I was expected to study and keep my grades high. Both my parents, and my sister before me were very hard-working, serious-minded people. I couldn't let them down, being a bounder. "  


The smile on her face slipped slightly as she realized he wasn't going to be an easy target. "But you must have had some fun. It wasn't all studies, although I do see here you got a double first in classics...". Her voice trailer off as she mentally juggled her questions trying to save the interview.  


He decided to go more easily on her. "Well, we did love a good evening rampage. I was in a dorm of about 6-8 boys, and after lights out we'd knot up our pillows and attack the dorm next door. Feathers everywhere! It was quite a time! We wrecked havoc on so many pillows!". He chuckled richly, as if he'd just told the most daringly funny story.  


The rest of the interview followed course, and she let him do the talking, with little prompting. They both learned valuable lessons that day. She, that you couldn't expect a celebrity to give up secrets easily. He, that just because they're pretty, doesn't mean they are kind or smart.  


Afterwards, on his way to see his agent, he sat in the back of a cab and thought about the naughtiest escapade he'd participated in while in school. It wouldn't have done to talk about it on radio, or anywhere for that matter, why get himself and his best friend Joey into trouble?  


They had been horribly randy of late. Whacking off just wasn't enough, and with a school full of boys, they were only going to run into equally frustrated boys. Sure you could always find someone willing to suck you off, but that just wasn't the same as finding a woman. They needed a real, actual female who could accommodate them both. Joey had found just the trick. A beautiful red-head, for the right price, was quite willing to entertain two Etonions.  


.Savannah was in her early 20s, long limbed, tall, lithe, with naturally brilliantly red hair, that wafted to her hips in massive waves of curls. She loved men, and she loved sex, so it seemed natural to combine the two. She rarely ventured out into the sun, so her skin was magnificently pale and soft. She was very careful what she consumed, so she stayed very slender. She used make up cunningly, so you couldn't tell if it was there at all. For example her nipples were beautifully rosey, but that was partly due to a tint she carefully applied.  


Her clients were always referrals, so she didn't worry about the men and boys who came through her door. This afternoon she was meeting two teens, who had been recommended by one of their fathers, a client she particularly liked. She wondered casually what they would want, and how her love of yoga would help in the journey. She smiled in the mirror, checked to make sure her breasts peaked alluringly from her massive mane and applied just a smidge more perfume. The doorbell chimed.  


The two boys stood at the door, eyes wide, waiting to see what their money, and Joeys father's recommendation would supply.  


A stunning, completely nude titian opened the door with a smile. "Gentlemen, please do come in. I've been expecting you." Her voice was soft, husky, with a hint of Glasgow hiding in there. She stepped back, allowing them to enter.

Joey pushed through the door first. Not that Tom wasn't as excited as his friend, he wanted to take a step back, see how things played out. The girl, not really all that much older then they, was far more self-assured. "How can I help entertain you gentlemen today?" 

Joey stepped up casually, "Well, I've been thinking. I'm really hungry, and I see you're well supplied with little treats.". He picked up a perfectly ripe banana. She smiled sweetly. You have good taste, in toys... Her voice trailed off as she led them to the bedroom. 

She perched on the edge of the bed. "And how do you like your bananas?". She learned back seductively spreading her legs wide. Both boys stepped closer, eyes focused intently where her fingers now played. You could actually feel the temperature in the room rise. Tom sat next to her on the bed, but Joey knelt on the floor between her feet. 

Joey moaned as he released his penis from his trousers, "I like my bananas nice and wet!". He took the fruit from her hand and gently worked it inside her, pushing and pulling, simulating sex. When the fruit was wet, and both boys now-exposed dicks were hard, he slid it out of her, peeled it, and slid it right back in place pumping it again. She stroked each of their cocks, and moaned in an exaggerated fashion which both boys responded to. 

Joey moved his head closer to the girls body and took a bite of banana. He moaned again, "Far better than whipped cream, Tom! You've got to try this!". He took another bite, then ran his tongue down her thigh. "Don't worry, mate, I'll leave you some.". He continued to nibble. 

Not to be left out, Tom was stroking one of her rather large breasts, and sucking the other. Joey joined them on the bed, after removing his clothes. Tom, who'd undressed prior to sitting on the bed, dropped to the floor, to consume his snack. The banana was more than half gone, and he had to work at it to eat the rest from her vagina, but found his tasks quite rewarding, as he lapped and sucked her to remove the fruit. His face was quite wet, and he continued "snacking". 

The remainder of their hour was far more conventional, but both boys found the red-head fun, playful and most importantly satisfying. 

Tom shook his head, breaking his reverie. That certainly was not a memory he'd care to share on a chat show. He laughed out loud. He could just imagine the interviewer 's face, if he had told that story, to say nothing of the impact it would have on Joey's brand new marriage.


	2. When I Was A Wee Bairn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom as a boy.

When I was a wee bairn, I was very blonde, had blue eyes that wrinkled even then, and I giggled, a lot. It was often my downfall, as I'd give myself away with mirthful giggles as I played hide & seek with Emi or my cousin Matthew. I'd be so delighted at finding just the most auspicious hiding place, and give it up with gleefull chuckling. But it was always a good time. 

Another time, Matthew and I decided we didn't want baths that evening. We had worked hard that day to get our dirty best, playing soldiers in an over-grown garden, really digging into the sod to hide from enemy soldiers (our parents), and we just were not ready to give up the grime. So we decided to hide under my bed. It was low enough to the floor that no one, except for 8 year-olds, could fit under it. For once, I'd kept my laughter under control, the importance of our not being found over ruling the hilarity. We'd kept it up until well past our bed time, when finally my mum, sitting on the small chair in my room, not three feet from me, burst into tears and started to sob. I was horrified! How could I make my mum cry?? I burst out from under the bed, wrapped my messy arms around her and cried, "Oh mummy, I'm so sorry!". Even the threat of her calling the local bobbies hadn't elicited that response! 

She burst into laughter, "You naughty scamp! I knew tears would get you!". She hugged me tight, told me I was the dirtiest child she'd ever seen, did the same to Matthew, then dragged us off to our delayed bath. Matthew and I always came up with the most wonderful schemes. 

Come to think of it, we still do! You should have been at his wedding! I was one of the ushers. I sang karioki all throughout the reception, that and danced. Haven't had that much fun in years. I had been paired up with a very tall woman, very lean & lanky, not really my type, but Matthew's fiance had insisted. We spoke for a bit, but luckily, she found someone far more interesting then I go spend her time with. It was great fun, haven't sung and danced like that in years! 

Young Tom had a difficult young life. Not that he was under-privileged, but perhaps over. He loved his little family, worshipped his older sister, despite or perhaps because of the teasing, adored his mum, who he whiled away hours singing & dancing with whilst she artfully played the piano. He and Emi would dance together or side by side. He loved her singing voice, so sweet and tuneful. And his father, papa, was his hero, a really good, kind man, who doted on his children. None of that was a problem. 

When Tom was four years old he was sent to boarding school. A very prestigious institution, the Dragon was the top school in London. Tom passed a battery of tests with flying colours, excited to be able to show what he knew. The problem arose when Tom learned he was going to live at the school now, not with his beloved family. His only consolation was his best friend Joey was being sent there as well. Joey lived two houses away, and the boys were inseparable. 

The first night was the worse. Several new children flooded into the school's auditorium, along with many returning scholars. The welcoming ceremony was pleasant enough, followed by a feast any preteen would love. Tom and Joey sat together at dinner, eyes huge as they took in the new surroundings and people. They'd never seen so many children in one place. The large hall was noisy with the talk, shouts and laughter of the group. An older boy approached them, seemingly to welcome them. After chatting for a few minutes, the boy looked directly into Tom's huge blue eyes and asked, "So, what did you do?" 

" Do? " Tom choked in confusion, "I ate dinner?" He questioned, not really understanding . 

"Not now!". The boy brushed aside his answer. " what did you do that your family put you here? Only really bad kids end up here, and have to live here. I killed a cat. They were afraid I'd go after my baby sister. Did you kill someone? " Tom and Joey looked at each other in abject terror, they had never killed anything. Sure they were always dirty, scraped up, and didn't listen, but murder? They shivered at the thought. 

The older boy burst into laughter. "I'm just fooling with youl. It's a okay school, they just make you work too hard.". He slamed each on the back, and walked off laughing, saying to his friend, " Those dorks actually believed me! "

Tom's childhood was like that filled with high highs and terrifying lows. He suffered from night terrors, as his rampant imagination never took time off. Shadows were always darker, deeper, whispering. Light was always bright, shimmering, silven. He was a happy child for the most part, lively and full of fun. He and Joey were good company for each other.  


One of his best and worst memories came from a camping trip his mum and dad had planned as part of the family's summer vacation plans. He and Emi were both looking forward to living in the wilds for a week, not having to worry about the evening bath, there were no bathtubs in the wild. Tom could mess about, getting dirty as he liked, and all he had to worry about was how hard mum would scrub at his knees & elbows. He could eat what he liked, and as much as he wanted! "You can be a wild indian if you like my darling.". His mum kissed his forehead as she put him to bed, the night before the trip. He grinned widely, put his hand to his mouth, and imitated an indian yell, or his best approximation as he saw it.  


The first few days of the adventure were uneventful as they found the perfect spot, near the streams edge, set up camp, built up their campfire & latrine areas. All very civilized, organized and tidy. Dad was a great fisherman, and his son tried his best to emulate him. Tom did pretty well as a fisherman, for every two fish his father caught, he caught one himself. On the third day Tom actually beat out the older man, catching five fish to his father's three. They would feast that night.  


The problem arose on the forth day. Emi asked to be excused from the family's plans. She took her mum aside, whispering feverishly, " Mum, aunt Flo came to visit last night and I'm all funny feeling. Please dont make me drag along tomorrow. I hate having my period. " Verity kissed her forehead, stroked her hair, and murmured, "It's only the second time you've had it darling. You'll get used to it eventually and not give it a second thought. I'll tell Papa, he'll understand. We'll tell Tom you have a book you need to finish for school, and need a day off. Don't worry my darling."  


So next morning when Emigen didn't appear for breakfast, Verity calmly told her men that she was reading for schoolwork and wouldn't be joining them for the days adventure. Dad nodded with pride, "My little lady's quite the go getter!"  


Tom wanted a share in his father's pride. "I can be a go getter, too! I'll catch all the fish today! You and Mum can have a day off!". He gathered his fishing rod and miscellaneous equipment, and marched off to the stream. "Do be careful, darling. Don't catch all the fish, we still need more for tomorrow!".  


Verity and Hamish beamed at each other, they had wonderful children. They decided on a stroll through the woods, knowing that Emi was reading a book and napping, whilst Tom sat at the stream, catching tonight's feast.  


Tom started out well enough. He caught two fish right away, but then there was a bit of a break and nothing happened. He started to fidget. If his father had been there, they'd have chatted, told stories, jokes. But Papa wasn't here. He poked in the mud to see if there were bugs or worms to play with. He looked for squirrels or bunnies, something to divert himself from the boredom of fishing alone. If a fish had come along just then, it would have saved the day. That didn't happen and Tom got more bored.  


He heard the leaves rustle. Now the leaves had been rustling all along, it was a bit windy that day. But Tom hadn't noticed, until he got bored. His ears picked up many sounds, and his imagination perked up. What creatures made such sounds? Lions, tigers, bears, jaguars, aligators, snakes slithering through the tree limbs. The whole jungle suddenly populated middle England. Maybe there were piranha laying in wait for a small boy to set foot in the river!! His own father had told him not to play in the water!! Tom jumped up and dropped his fishing pole. 'My God,' he thought, 'What have I done going off alone??'. His breatheing became rapid and shallow as he turned and turned and turned. What could he do? He was trapped with who knew what tracking him!!  


He ran. They couldn't find him if he were a moving target, they couldn't catch him. He ran farther, zigging and zagging. This was his life he was fighting for. He ran into a clearing and stopped. From here he could see everything. He'd be safe. He got his breathing under control as he looked around. He was safe for right now. He started to smile, proud he'd been so smart and brave. Until it struck him. He had no idea where he was, and no idea how to find the camp. The smile fell from his face as panic started to gain control once again. He'd die here!! If all the wild animals didn't find him and eat him, he'd die of exposure or worse he thought, as his stomach grumbled, STARVATION! He wailed!!! He was going to starve to death and probably in the next half hour! He'd left his packed lunch back with the fishing pole, and it had been his favorite, cheese & pickle!! He let out another wail, even louder. Then it started, he sobbed. He wasn't ready to die, or be a bear's lunch. He wanted to grow up, learn to shave, like Papa; grow hair in places his papa had, kiss a girl, be a famous actor, drive a car, go to a dance. As all the things he looked forward to presented themselves, his sobbing grew. He was going to die and starve to death, and die and get eaten by a lion, and die hungry. His stomach growled loudly enough, he could hear it over his sobs. Now, to make matters worse, it was starting to get dark, and he was going to freeze to death as he starved. A new wail escaped him. Death was everywhere he looked. He wanted to lay down, and just let death take him, but he couldn't give up the fight that easily. He sobbed, what could he do?? "Help! Help me!! HELP!! HELP!!!". He screamed as loudly as his small body, emaciated from starvation , would allow. He screamed and kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut, not wanting to see the tiger coming at him.  


" I've found him Verity! " Hamish called out as he made his way across the cleaning.  


Tom finally dropped to his knees. Death was near. Starvation was going to take him. He was hallucinating his fathers voice. He smiled bravely through his tears, at least he could pretend his loving father was there with him at the end, dying by starvation wasn't that bad.  


He imagined his father picking him up and cradling his small, dead body in his strong arms, and carrying him back to camp. Maybe they'd bury him by the river so he could be with the fishies he hadnt caught. He always have something to eat when he was dead with all the fish near by. And Emi would miss him and be sorry she called him mop-top all the time. His mum would miss him too and have no reason to play the piano anymore. His stomach rumbled loudly. Who knew your tummy could make so much noise when you were dead? If only he could tell Joey. He'd be all alone now, with no friends in the world. He wanted very much to tell Joey what it was like to starve to death.

********* 

Tom always loved girls, his sister and mother were both on pedestals and still are to this day. They were and are brilliant, vivacious, and endless fun. What they have to say Tom takes seriously. But his love of the female sex went far beyond. He learnt best from female teachers. He always had lots of female friends, much to his male peers envy. He knew how to talk to girls, his favorite people were girls, and girls responded to him. 

His first serious crush was blissful. There was a very pretty blonde girl in his class. All the boys had a crush on her, yet even though young, she didn't have a boyfriend. None of the boys knew how to talk to her. Even the captain of the school team couldn't figure out what to say to her. She was just a simple girl and completely unaware of her own looks. She was content with her friends, movies & books. 

One afternoon, after school sessions had ended, Tom approached her. "Hi, Gwyneth!" 

" Hi, Tom! ". She smiled. He was the best in French class and the worst at maths, just the opposite of her. She thought together they could help each other out. 

"Did you see the new movie playing this weekend?" He was obviously excited about it. 

"Yes!" She answered enthusiastically. 

"Would you like to go see it? With me, I mean?" 

" Oh, I'd love that Tom!! It's got dinosaurs! My favorite. " 

"Me,too. Who doesn't like dinos?" 

And that first very shy date led to a great friendship, in which both young-teens benefited in their respective classes. Tom adored Gwyneth. She really was smart, fun and beautiful. He gave himself a speech each evening before light's out, be brave, kiss her. Her lips looked so soft and so pink. He could imagine his lips on hers, but he just hadn't worked up the nerve to go for it. 

He steeled himself, as the semester was coming to a close. It HAD to happen!! In French class the next day, he passed her a note, "Meet me after school just past the cricket pitch." 

"What's up, Tom? " 

He grinned. "I had to see you." He leaned in close to her. Gwyneths heart raced as she thought, "Finally!!". She moved closer to close the gap between them, and pressed her mouth to his. It was just like the movies! She moved closer. Tom smiled to himself. This was perfect. He opened his lips to kiss her again just as she did the same. Their tongues touched and then each tried to put their tongue in the other's mouth. It was a bit messy, but they figured it out and spent the next ten minutes snogging. 

The school term ended, and both Tom and Gwyneth got better grades than expected in their poor subjects with each others help. 

Next semester, his last at the Dragon, Gwyneth didn't return. He dad had gotten a promotion and moved the family to, of all places, Cumberland. He was in mining and had discovered a derelict mansion residing over rich clay mines. His project was to deliver the crimson red clay.


End file.
